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Dealing with Loss

Everyone has lost something.

Whether that's losing a job, a friendship or someone passing away, it's never going to be easy.

Knowing how to deal with loss is one of the hardest things in the world, but also the bravest.

When my Grandad passed away I was very young and I could never seem to get my head around it.

I didn't understand it and I didn't want to understand it.


My Grandad John

Everyone close to me knows I've struggled with this my entire life, as have my entire family. It's not something you ever get over, but it is something that with time you learn to deal with. You live in their memory, you learn to cope and somehow life manages to carry on.

Everyone deals with loss differently and there's no right or wrong way, but there are some ways to make it easier.

Stopping yourself from getting in touch with your emotions is the worst thing you can do.

Allow yourself to cry.

There's no shame in crying and I encourage everyone to let the tears flow because it can release a whole mountain of built up stress, anger and sadness. A good cry never hurt anybody and it really does make you feel better.

"It's OK not to be OK"

Sometimes you won't feel good, you won't want to face the world and it will feel impossible, and that's OK. Allow yourself to grieve. Sometimes you will fall, but make sure you pick yourself back up.

Losing a friendship or job can have the same effect on you. You might travel on a downward spiral of depression and not know what to do, but you need to remember that tomorrow isn't always guaranteed & life is far too short to dwell in sadness.

I live by the phrase "Everything Happens for a Reason" and truly believe in fate.

I also believe that for everything lost, there is something gained.

For example, if you're an athlete and lose a match, you gain motivation to try harder. If you lose a friendship, you gain knowledge and wisdom with what you don't want in the next friendship, and if you lose a loved one, you gain strength to cope and carry on.

Broken friendships can be mended if you want them to but if the pieces don't fit back together then it just wasn't meant to be.

There's always an answer to every question. So get asking yourself "How can I make things better?"

You may not have the answer yourself but I can guarantee you someone will.

Talking about how you feel is the best medicine in the world. Whether you decide to turn to a best friend, a family member or a professional like a counsellor, getting everything out of your own mind and onto the table will help motivate and guide you onto the right path.

Spend time with those that make you happy. Get yourself out of the house. Walking brings out the happy endorphins in you and so does chocolate. So do both.

Let yourself have fun, allow yourself to laugh and live your life.

Not living your life isn't going to achieve anything.

But living it is.

So no matter how hard today seems, you never know what tomorrow may bring.

But also remember that tomorrow is never guaranteed so make sure you live for today.

"To live is the rarest thing in world. Some people just exist"

Some useful contacts if you do need someone to speak to:

Samaritans
www.samaritans.org
08457 909090

Cruse
www.cruse.org.uk
helpline@cruse.org.uk
0808 808 1677

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